10 Things to look forward to at the Republican Convention

No, I did not write these but I thought they were worth sharing...

1. Men’s rooms specially designed to allow for a wide stance
2. Overenthused delegates start drilling for oil on convention floor
3. Sarah Palin stopped by security, asked for ID (NICE!)
   
4. Enraged, chanting crowd burns effigy of Keith Olbermann
5. Confused Ron Paul delegate forgets which convention he’s at, shows up wearing Iron Man costume
6. Repeated attempts to serve both God and Mammon
7. Angry women in heavy makeup who refuse to accept they haven’t been a trophy wife since 1984
8. Nights two and three entirely dedicated to explaining that Bill Clinton must be stopped before he destroys the world
9. Fred Thompson challenges Karl Rove to an old-fashioned Tennessee jowl-off
10. More black speakers than in the last hundred and fifty years combined

Is it November 4 yet?